In the last article, we talked about how the ego can get in the way by negating your potential and telling you that you can’t experience the life you truly want.
So what does this have to do with big egos?
You know the type. People who seem almost narcissistic, or know-it-alls.
It’s common to equate egotistical people with those who feel it’s their way or the highway.
Some traits of people who seem to have “big egos” can include:
- Someone who needs constant praise or constantly brags
- Someone who is demanding, constantly talking your ear off about what they know, or who doesn’t listen or share in conversation
- Someone who is passive-aggressive, who talks behind your back, whose tone of voice is condescending, who looks you up and down, who tries to undermine you instead of assist you
- Someone who compares themselves to others, and feels a tremendous boost when they see they have better clothes, more money, better car than their neighbor or “friend”
But is this really the ego?
“Part of me suspects that I’m a loser, and the other part of me thinks I’m God Almighty.” ~ John Lennon
All of these traits point to an aspect of our personality that our ego is working hard to avoid feeling pain: or low self-esteem.
As stated in Part One, a healthy ego works with our subconscious to engage and participate in the world in a way that allows us to experience life to its fullest. You might want to write that one down and read it daily!
But what often happens is that the ego can get caught up hiding parts of the self that have been injured or hurt in some way, which then becomes a defense mechanism.
So a person who seems to have a big ego can actually be covering up negative thoughts that the – well – the ego is telling them. See, the ego is an aspect of the conscious mind.
It is what we know, or have experienced in our past.
The big ego has a split personality.
The ego can inflate a person who is feeling low self-esteem, and the ego can deflate if a person is actually looking beyond the familiar and conditional.
So here’s a concept that may help you overcome the negative ego: Try taking on the attitude of non-judgment. The big ego is about judging self and others.
How do you take on an attitude of non-judgement? By diving into it.
TRY IT OUT!
Grab a pen and paper and write down what your ego is telling you. (You know.. that subtle but persistent voice that is always giving its .02 cents wether you ask for it or not.)
You might find that it’s all about comparisons, regrets, worrying what others think of you, feeling glad you’re not in his shoes, feeling a strong urge to gossip.
When you’re aware of your judgments, aka fears and doubts, you can see them for what they are and then let them go, and once you begin to let go of these, and lose your attachment to the voices of doubt, fear, guilt, shame and all the rest, your life will very quickly begin to expand with new potential and opportunities.
But… this is often easier said than done. Now that you are AWARE that those voices are not you, next comes the daily practice of dancing gracefully with the Ego in our daily lives. You see, the ego is as much part of you as your arm or kidney. It’s there because it serves a purpose, a valuable one.
Check out part three: